○ Libra New Moon Musings ●
10. 8. 2018 >> 11:45 pm EDT
I want more soul days and longer mornings down the rabbit hole.
On cold mornings, I turn to my beloved gripping to hold the warmth between us. With every snooze button we cuddle harder hoping to suspend time. Our moods, needs, and desires fit perfectly together like yin/yang. I’ve commented many times - I’m dating myself for he’s my greatest barometer, whatever I am needing from him is something am not giving to myself.
Naturally when we’re disconnected, I flog myself with insecurities > what did I do wrong? I’m not smart enough, pretty enough, somehow I need to be better for him to love me… Yet when I let the banter settle, when I truly sit with my feelings, I say… WAIT … How am I showing up to this relationship? Who am I at the core of this relationship? Am I asking for more of him than I am willing to give?
We can’t give each other total security. When we journey down the rabbit hole of self-awareness everything flips on itself. We see that every character in our lives is a part of us. They mirror all our crazy self-afflictions. If we can truly see them for WHO THEY ARE, they’ll offer a magic mushroom into the heart of who we TRULY ARE. Each relationship is a soul lesson that seeks integration. Our souls are not less whole, nor flawed without the other - we are simply unconscious of our infinite potential, and partnership wakes us up. Stagnation stems from the inability to receive the gifts our relationships bring everyday.
I don’t think we ever find our soul mate till we are ready to see our own soul. The clearer I see myself, the easier it is to connect with others, to see their beauty beyond the illusions. This new moon in Libra offers us a chance to linger in time and space, to tend to our deeper soul yearnings and ask: WHAT DO I TRULY WANT? AM I WILLING TO GIVE IT IN THIS RELATIONSHIP?
BALANCE comes when we show up in our hearts, then the world shapes to our CORE not our flimsy projections.