○ Scorpio New Moon Musings ●
11. 7. 2018 >> 11:02 am EST
Into the Mystery via Italy 🇮🇹
Sometimes my seeking takes me into dark places. Whether of my own design or external, I’ve walked through many parallel lives, moments when a single step changes everything. For the past 10 days I’ve been on retreat in Italy invoking the dark goddess, and when she showed up it wasn’t always graceful but rather a clusterfuck. I got robbed in the metro, tripped on the Roman streets and broke my phone, lost a precious keepsake, a water bottle spilled into my bag, and a black ink pen exploded all over in the airplane. At first set backs can feel like big loses, sheer stupidity, and endless what-ifs. I can’t go backward nor forward in time to map divine intervention, but I believe it exists - our mistakes are somewhat of a miracle if we choose to learn from them.
I write of these unfortunate triggers that set me off, because they happen all the time. Think of the countless ways you negate yourself daily over the big and insignificant. If enlightenment is the sum of all the moments that you feel blessed, shadows are the accumulation of every moment you feel unworthy.
Equal to my blessings is my perpetual unworthiness which motivates me to travel all over the world in search of spiritual testament that I am meant to be on this path. On route through Rome and Umbria, I had mystical experiences in the caves and mountains of St. Francis Assisi, sat with spirit in ritual and sacred sites, and witnessed true magic with with masterful teachers. You’d think I’d only find the goddess in ornate cathedrals, but you’d be surprise how much more sacrament I found within the depths of people and painful misfortunes. My greatest healing came when I faced my resistance to others, accepted my loses as a gifts, and integrated my shadows with divine love.
You don’t have to travel far externally to experience the mystical, but you do have to go within. This Scorpio new moon shifts us toward the real currents of our lives. We don’t often choose to invoke the darkness, but when we face our fears we end up reclaiming the magic. I invite you to turn towards your lifelong fears, faults, and failures. You may just find those demons are actually beautiful dragons who want to take you to the tops of the mountains to reach up higher.